How To Burn In a Tanning Bed

Yes, this is my "burn line".

On a whim, I decided to try tanning over the weekend.  Yes, strange, I know but with the photo shoot coming up in less than a week drastic measures needed to be taken.  After some driving around the neighborhood, I chose a very reputable-looking company and waltzed in.

The girl was very friendly and we talked for a good 15 minutes about tanning products, my inability to tan and tanning goggles.  I bought a package and was shown to a Super King Tanning Bed with Separate Face Tanner.  After applying the special tan accelerator, I rolled into the bed, closed the lid around me began "tanning".

It wasn't until 4 hours later that I realized my mistake.  I must have asked her for a booth that gives a really bad sunburn.  I mean, how else could I have gone tanning and ended up with a backside the color of a boiled lobster or legs that couldn't even bend anymore.  So, should you ever want to end up with a fabulous red skin tone, please follow these tips:

1.  Try and find a tanning salon that claims "no one ever burns in our beds" and actually truly believes it.  Your burn will be very red and excruciating if the girl making that claim is very young, pale and "always tans in this bed for 15 minutes or more."

2.  When given tan accelerator creams, always choose one that says "Dark Accelerator".  This cream will always turn your skin a nice red tinge particularly if you haven't been tanning in say, oh, 14 years.  Even if your gut says this cream is wrong, ignore that voice and listen to the salesperson.  They have your best interest at heart.  Ensure that you put this cream absolutely everywhere.  Your stomach, your chest, your kneecaps and even your bum because you won't be uneven this way.

3.  9 minutes (for a first timer) is the perfect amount of time to get a fabulous red glow.  Though most companies start their newbies off at 5 - 6 minutes (and work gradually up from there), pushing for 9 minutes guarantees you that crisp red glow you're seeking.

4.  Avoid the automatic turn-off button at all costs.  Remember, no ones burns in a tanning bed and even if you're skin feels slightly tingly, it's been said that this is a "normal" feeling.

5.  Always give yourself over two hours before showering.  This gives your burn ample time to spread through your body and attack all areas evenly.  And, when you do shower, use warm water.  This works best if you don't know you're burned...

There you have it ladies!  The perfect way to get sun burned while in a tanning salon.  Now, if you already have a tendency to tan when in the sun/bed well aren't you lucky?

PS - I should mention that this pic was taken on day 2 and not the day of the tan because the day of I was an absolute lobster, seriously.  And, I'm starting to peel, which is the worst part of a burn ever.  It better be gone by next Saturday....fingers crossed!